2026

wednesday, 3 june
i got a final offer to study at my university of choice, i'm grateful. i can choose between civil and mechanical engineering, they are both interesting but my heart leans toward mechanical since it gives me the option of pursuing my pipe dream career in the space industry. also material science!!! i still need to secure accommodation and funding. i'll start working on my entrance exam prep course tomorrow. the test is scheduled for the 1st of august (how do i write in superscript?). i'm excited to get busy again, i miss doing maths. i have a feeling it won't be that all pleasant, the question types are alien to me. i never was quick on my feet. i can learn, though.

i've been playing through some indie games from itch. i enjoyed jobhunting9000, keyframes, and wan2talk. why am i so attracted to cain? his personality is uninviting to say the least.

although it's only been 2 months since my last letter to you, i miss you jenny.

i am so lonely

monday, 1 june
i added some colour to this site today, finally. i hope it hasn't hindered accessibility too much - my goal was to make everything easier on the eyes while retaining legibility. on an unrelated note, i am aware that most of the hyphens in the text are assuming the role of em dashes, i will not correct that.
also, please change the zoom to 'page fit' when viewing the zine on the index page as it is much too large by default.

credit to nasa for the background images. (1,2)

thursday, 28 may
stainless steel

wednesday, 27 may
i am back home from my visit to my grandparents. i enjoyed and am grateful for the time spent with them. i am always captured by the geology in that area, the rocks are like the ocean's canvas, carved and sculpted into art. i am fascinated by the smooth bending and warping present, i believe it is due to tectonic action that formed the area. is it metamorphic rock?
that being said, i am glad to be back in my own space, i need some solitude. i drove for around 9 hours yesterday and slept poorly, so today i am fried. i enjoy the driving; it takes a lot of focus, i have no idea how people text and drive or drive drunk and don't crash. i suppose they do, though.
today has been lovely, save for the headache. i watched project hail mary and it was delightful. along with its other qualities, the visual effects and art direction blew me away. the wonderfully vibrant palette and depiction of space was like a blissful daydream. the acting and the plot, being synonymous with our own very real predicament on earth, yanked a good few tears out of me. i appreciated how many surprising complications were sprinkled into the film, the subversive yet satisfying ending was great. oh i could go on and on, what a joy. amaze amaze amaze.

wednesday, 22 april
older by george michael is one of my favourite albums. there is rich intricacy and attention to detail in it's instrumentation, rhythms and production. Yet, there are a few moments that i am puzzled made it into the final master.
most notably, and grating, is the second repetition of 'when you know', specifically the word 'know' in jesus to a child at 2:20 and 4:34. maybe this was a recording error or something with the tape. hell, maybe it was intentional. maybe they didn't want to scrap the take. it bothers me deeply though, the abruptness of the glitch completely undercuts the rest of the song. i dread hearing it every time i listen to this song. i don't know how the engineer didn't hear that and think maybe it isn't the best choice to keep it in.
next is just an artistic nitpick but the heavy use of reverb and delay on the vocals makes it feel cheap at times, though this is not major.
lastly, the lyric 'do you have a little tale to tell' and it's repetitions near the end of the song star people is slightly off-tempo.
these are my primary issues with the album. though they annoy me deeply, this remains such a beautiful piece of music that it doesn't really matter.

sunday, april 19
i'm visiting my grandparents at the moment. granddad turned 77 today. i have been thinking about what is next for me. though i am not sure this is the best choice, it seems like pursuing an engineering degree is the most sensible at the moment. there isn't much else for me to do. i will apply soon and then hunt for a bursary. meanwhile, i could take some courses that my stepdad's company offers for free while the thread from which that bridge hangs is still intact. i could get some qualifications under my belt with those. if that fails, i might be able to get a job working for my uncle. i have lost all my math knowledge since graduation thanks to my stagnant lifestyle. i've been studying one chapter of the theory per day to get back up to speed. then i'll buy a course with practice questions for the benchmark tests to give myself a chance at passing.

i'm enjoying driving around, drove into the sunset blind and did a night drive on the highway with lots of trucks to overtake so i've been put through my paces. i love the skill that is communicating with your vehicle. it reminds me of the na'vi and their ikran.

i wonder why my pages have extra padding near the bottom on mobile. i would troubleshoot it but i don't have a laptop at the moment so it must wait. (it seems this is a safari specific thing. padding is added to the bottom of every page to make space for the search bar. nothing i can change, probably.)

friday, april 3
look at this awesome long exposure taken by the artemis II crew! those aurora are so beautiful it's making me dizzy.

thursday, april 2
artemis II launched yesterday. i am so hyped for it. can't wait for the moon pics that the astronauts take. i'll see you on the dark side of the moon.

wednesday, april 1
i am debating whether to make these pages more visible or keep them hidden, eh they're not that hidden anyway.

tuesday, march 31
i managed to implement a working image gallery for my photography. no idea how, but it seems to work.
i used this code
i have tried to get a good balance between file size and image quality. the full-scale images had to be compressed though unfortunately. they look decent for the most part but there is still some colour banding like in the previews. i don't think i can get the previews any smaller.

monday, march 30
my driver's license test is scheduled for today. i am not confident i will pass but i will do my best. i hope it goes well.

i passed.

sunday, march 29
i wish we could bring back old flip-phones. they seem to have struck the perfect balance between convenience and utility. a balance we have sadly lost.

i went on a long hike today up leopard's kloof in harold porter. it was awesome and surprisingly light. there were many tourists. the payoff was a massive waterfall at the top of the trail and i wish i could've stayed for longer. i tried to take some photos but i'm still struggling to get the correct exposure in a dynamic environment like that. the sky is either white or the woods are too dark. i'll sift through what i took and see if anything is worth archiving on this site.

my favourite part of the hike besides the waterfalls is the small collection of minerals and fossils they have at the entrance of the reserve. i will definitely upload those photos.

i also went on a nice bike ride after and helped my mom walk the dogs. i am unfortunately not a dog person so i don't enjoy taking them alone.

saturday, march 28
i met an old man yesterday who has been running a bike shop out of his garage for the past 20 years. it was stocked with bicycles and parts hanging neatly from the walls. i bought a pump with cash because his payment system logged him out automatically and he couldn't recall his password. i often wonder if modern technology has become too convenient and simultaneously inconvenient for our own good. i didn't know that there was an extra valve that needs to be loosened to inflate the rear tyre so i brought the bike to him this morning thinking it was broken. he solemnly corrected my ignorance and pumped up my wheels for me. i wondered why he was grumpy. he then told me he would be on his way to his wife's funeral and that if the tyres deflate i can bring the bike back on monday. in response i let out a plastic "sorry". i have been aware of my lack of empathy for a while but this moment has reminded me of how severe my disconnect is. i want to be able to comfort people, to feel their pain and connect with them. maybe i do have empathy but lack the ability to express it. maybe i lack both. i don't know. i hope he is okay.

i went on a long bike ride with my mom today. the tyres did not deflate.